Friendship matters. Yet for many men, especially in adulthood, forming meaningful friendships isn’t always straightforward. Between work, family responsibilities, and societal expectations that often discourage vulnerability, making friends can feel like a huge, uphill climb. Especially when friendship is about more than socializing; it’s about emotional support, personal growth, and creating a more fulfilling life.
Here’s how to break through the awkwardness, uncertainty, and isolation and start building genuine connections with other men.
Acknowledge That It’s Normal to Struggle
First, it’s important to normalize the struggle. Many men feel like they’re the only ones having a hard time making friends. But studies show that adult men report significantly fewer close friendships compared to women. If you’re feeling lonely or disconnected, you’re not alone. Admitting this to yourself is the first step in taking action.
How to Make Friends as a Man
1. Live With Roommates
Living with roommates can also be a powerful way to build lasting friendships (and save on the rent while you’re at it). When you live with others, shared meals, spontaneous conversations, and small daily interactions help form bonds naturally.
Roommates can become friends by proximity, but the connection often deepens through mutual respect and shared experiences. If you’re in a new city or looking to expand your circle, this setup provides more organic opportunities to connect with others than living alone.
If you’re considering moving in with roommates or are on the hunt for a better living situation, spareroom.com can help you find rooms for rent in Los Angeles, Austin, New York, Boston, and more. Every three minutes, someone finds a roommate through their platform. You can easily find a room that meets your preferences. Whether you value cleanliness, quiet, or camaraderie, their filters help you find the right match.
2. Reconnect With Old Friends
You don’t always need to start from scratch. Think about people from your past: old college buddies, coworkers, or teammates. Chances are, some of them would be happy to hear from you. Send a text, schedule a catch-up call, or invite them for coffee or to watch the game.
Rebuilding connections takes initiative, but it’s easier than trying to forge entirely new relationships. You already have shared history, which can make reconnecting feel natural and much more meaningful. Not to mention, they might be in the same boat as you.
3. Say Yes More Often
To form good friendships, you need to be available. Saying yes to invitations, even if they’re a bit outside your comfort zone, creates more chances to meet people. Join that pickup basketball game, attend your coworker’s birthday party, or go to that neighborhood BBQ.
Saying yes doesn’t mean overcommitting. It means recognizing that connection rarely happens in isolation. The more you show up, the more opportunities you create for real and genuine friendship.
4. Join Groups With Shared Interests
Whether it’s a hiking club, book group, or local chess league, shared activities can help you form connections naturally. They give you something to talk about, something to bond over, and a reason to keep coming back.
Don’t see a group that fits your interests? Start one. Meetup platforms, local community centers, and social media make it easy to gather people around shared passions. Even something as simple as a weekly bike ride or weekend coffee group can blossom into lasting friendships.
5. Try Being Open
Vulnerability doesn’t always come easily, but it’s one of the best ways to build genuine connections with others. You don’t need to bare your soul right away, but being open about your thoughts, interests, and experiences can go a long way in making friends.
Start by asking good questions and actively listening. Show interest in others. Over time, you can share more of yourself. These small moments of honesty build trust and deepen relationships.
6. Make Friendship a Priority
Friendship takes effort. Life is busy, but relationships need attention to grow. Block off time in your schedule for social activities. Set reminders to check in with friends. Make it part of your routine.
If you’re waiting for friendship to happen “naturally,” you might be waiting a long time. Taking proactive steps, even if they’re small ones, shows that you value connection and are willing to work for it.
7. Don’t Let Rejection Stop You
Not every attempt at friendship will work out. Some people are busy, others may not click with you, and some situations just fizzle out. That’s okay. Rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth, but it’s just part of the process.
Keep reaching out. Keep showing up. The more you try, the more likely you are to find the people you want to be around.
Conclusion
Making friends as a man can feel challenging, but it’s far from impossible. It requires intention, a bit of vulnerability, and the willingness to try to connect with others. There are many practical ways you can expand your circle.
You deserve meaningful friendships. And with a little effort, they’re absolutely within reach.
